Monday, October 4, 2010

Too much ambition?

UGH, we lost yet another game. It was our homecoming game, and once again what scares me is not the fact that we lost, but how we lost. I don't understand how a team can take a loss so lightly!!! And not just a regular loss, but a complete shut out to a team that we could have BEATEN! I mean, there's no need to be completely down about it either, but I mean obviously you need to think about SOME things that need to be done or worked on after not scoring a single tri against a mediocre team. Our team talked a lot about the need to be more positive over this season, but don't just throw constructive criticism and hard work out the window! Why are we completely full of butterflies and rainbows now in a serious situation? We're 0-3, we've scored ONE TRI out of the course of these three games, and the teams we have played against have scored a TON of tris (tries? blah, too upset for grammar) on us. So not only does the one tri fact show we have no offense, but the fact that other teams are scoring so much on us shows we also have no defense!
The only way to handle a failure in rugby (and in life!) is to just TRY AGAIN - not give yourself a trophy for it. But you actually have to TRY! Yeah we lost and we didn't score, so I went to the gym today, ran a 3 mile speed workout, and did an almost endless ab and arm workout along with a bajillion squats. I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow, and working on my kicking and passing by myself. I just don't understand how so much of our team can still sit on their behinds after so many ridiculous losses and not want to FIGHT it - have they completely given up hope in the team? Do they just expect to lose? Is our team "conquered"?! I KNOW I'M NOT; I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! There's only two games left in this season, and I'm going to do every single thing possible to pick my game up and be a better asset to this team.
What's even more frustrating is that 500 million random people who saw our game keep coming up to me and telling me how great I played; even people on our team keep telling me I had one of the best rugby games I've ever played on this team. But the score doesn't show that at all. And it doesn't have to every time, but I don't consider it an achievement if as a team we did so incredibly bad. We all win and lose as a team, and even if I ran over the other team personally it doesn't mean a damn thing. But that's what's great about rugby at the same time - it's unreal how much the sport of rugby revolves around playing as a team. Our team obviously proved that not one or two people can play well and show up for a full 80 minute game, the entire team has to. That team may have been just mediocre, but they all came ready to play together. How do you fix that? I try so hard at every practice and game to get people fired up and inspired, but I guess there's only so much you can do. What more can I do?! I wish I knew, because I would do so in a heartbeat.