The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.

Woooooooooo, I literally almost blew major chunks after my 5 mile run today. I know normally that's not really something that people get excited about, but I obviously wasn't aiming at some sort of weight loss goal or something. The only reason why I feel a sense of excitement and relief at the same time when I feel like I'm literally going to throw up after running is because it is physical proof that I worked my hardest and pushed my body to its ultimate limit. Sometimes I have a really tough time being satisfied with my training and work in rugby, and I feel like I never ever do enough and that there is more I could be doing. But when I almost throw up, then there really is nothing more I could have done to make me reach that point, no matter what point that is. Whether or not it's the level I want to be at, it's either at the level I'm currently at or almost past it because my body is that exhausted. Before rugby season last year, I would actually go through with the throwing up and not stop running/training until I did....it was almost like a necessity that I needed to check off before completing any training. But looking back on it I obviously realized how unhealthy that is (though once rugby season comes around again, that logic may not be there again and it may show back up on the check list...). I hope that I can keep pushing myself and not let myself fall off track. And I really hope that sooner or later I can convince myself that I am actually making progress and not behind like I always do. The only thing that I can do though is never give up!
Also my cast is officially off! In a strange way I'm going to slightly miss my highlighter yellow sleeve, but hence the SLIGHTLY. The doctor said that he could still see a crack in my wrist though, so I'm in a splint for at least two weeks. But this doctor doesn't know me...and he doesn't know that if it's removable I'm going to take it off and break every single rule given about wearing it. I already played softball with it on, which is a ton of wrist usage that I am sure I'm 100% not supposed to do, and if I had the time to do rugby I would have been on a rugby pitch directly after leaving the doctor's office. I'm pretty good I think at ignoring injuries and being super oblivious to their severity.
I also heard about a documentary existing that's about rugby in the United States.....WHAT?! How did this masterpiece of an idea of a film slip by me without me knowing about it?! It's called "A Giant Awakens, the Rise of American Rugby." Helloooooooo that sounds AWESOME! Already have it in my shopping cart at amazon.com, and the minute I'm not broke or once school and rugby season starts up again (whichever comes first) I am buying it in a heartbeat.