THE SINNERS.
Yet another rugby family to add to the list!
They were already family, but nothing brings a team closer together like rolling around in freezing mud together! We came in second out of the whole tournament, which is a major WIN in my eyes even if we didn't claim first because making it to the championship game means we got to play as many games as possibly allowed....and more! It was hysterical how the difference in body temperature and/or perception of frozenness was affected by whether or not you were playing. When I was playing in a game, I literally had no feeling in my body and not a care in the world when it came to being wet or cold. But on the sidelines? HOLY HELL. I was SUCH a baby whenever I had to stand around and wait for us to play again. I'm glad I got to hop into some games, which I not only did to avoid frostbite on the sidelines but also so that I could squeeze in as much rugby as possible!!
It's also AMAZING to compare the difference in my Winterfest playing just from having the Vegas experience alone. In the past, Winterfest has been a JOKE and I have never really done anything significant in it nor even lasted long playing in it. This was the first year where I really actually saw myself do something significant. I noticed myself utilizing special awareness so much more, constantly thinking about where I am on the field, where the gaps are, how close/far away I am from the player next to me, etc. It helped so freakin' much! **It was also so awesome to see my fellow Stars rugby teammates sharing knowledge with the rest of the team that I remember us learning from Vegas. I remember thinking at some points "OH YEAH....I remember that from Vegas...YOU GO GIRL WAY TO SAY THAT!" bahaha
The offloading that happened was like NIGHT AND DAY, not only for me but for the whole team in general! Figuring out that exact moment where I was able to make a an effective/qualitative pass while drawing in a defender was such a major skill to develop. It was also good to know the difference between when this should happen and when it should NOT (since it's not always good to continue shoveling out the ball and sometimes necessary to bring it into contact so the team gets a chance to reset), since sometimes when this tactic starts to prove to be affective it gets used TOO MUCH.
I did also notice a difference in my fitness level, even if it isn't where I would like for it to be yet (not even CLOSE!). A fellow on the men's Stars Rugby team that I met and conversed with in Vegas made a great point that I've never really thought about: If you continue to do the same things, then you will continue to BE THE SAME. If I do the same run at the same speed for the same amount of time and lift the same weights for the same amount of reps every day then I will NEVER move passed those numbers. A lot of times I have found myself saying in workouts "Oh well, not where I want to be at yet, but one step at a time. If I keep doing this then eventually it will get easy and I can move on to the next level." NO! Why should I work towards something being EASY?! It should NEVER be easy! I should be constantly constantly constantly pushing myself to ensure that I am always testing my limits.
I'm not sure if this was due to higher fitness, better awareness, luck, whatever...but I also scored my third or fourth try EVER (bahaha), and it was the first full out BREAKAWAY I've ever had!! I don't even fully remember how it happened (someone told me later that on defense I had ripped the ball out of an opponent's hands and/or somehow recovered their ball), but I somehow or another got hold of the ball and then in a moment suddenly saw myself thinking ".....HOLY SHIT.....THERE'S NO ONE IN FRONT OF ME....HOT DAMN THE TRY ZONE IS RIGHT THERE WITH NO ONE IN MY WAY!!!" I can honestly say I have NEVER EVER said that before bahaha. It was like slow motion running on a breakaway to the try zone, and at one point I felt someone tug on my jersey but luckily a little pat on the head in the form of a stiff arm (BAHAHA) was enough for me to make it to the try zone home free.
This may not sound like a big deal (I'm sure most backs are USED to saying this and probably even expect to, ha ha)....but a major fact about me is I-DO-NOT-SCORE. I just don't!! I'm actually kind of proud of that fact, because my entire rugby career I have constantly thought about in a game how to set someone else up to score. Whether it was through playing a forward position and thinking "Hit that ruck so someone can take the ball and go with it!...hit this banger hard so someone else has fewer defenders to run by and fewer meters to run into the try zone!" or playing scrumhalf and thinking "Who's open and ready for the ball?! Who am I passing to next?! How is everyone's spacing?! What can I do to ensure that everyone else has a better chance of scoring?! How are the backs doing, do we need a banger for them to get ready and set?! How are the forwards doing, are they getting to the rucks quick enough or do they need help?! Can the forwards do another banger or do they need a change of pace?!" I'm constantly thinking about the well being of everyone on the field and never have a moment to think that I may be able to score! This is a strength because rugby is such a team sport that people who don't have at least somewhat of this mindset are not going to make it far. You can't do ANYTHING alone when playing rugby.
BUT, I'm starting to realize that this mindset is a strength TO A POINT. There is a level of this where it can become a fault. If I hadn't been pushing forward in that moment and continued running after breaking through the defense, then that try could have potentially not happened! I don't think I'll suddenly be trying to score all the time now (nor do I plan to have a breakaway like that again any time soon bahaha), but I certainly shouldn't rule it out as much as I used to. It CAN happen! hah.
It's very interesting to notice the difference in workouts of when you are training with people and/or through playing rugby and when you are training by yourself. In comparison....TRAINING BY YOURSELF SUCKS. There's only so many times I can run on a treadmill without thinking for a hot second that I would actually like to do this and put myself out of my misery:
Ironically enough though, I feel like if I was surrounded by ruggers then I wouldn't have that feeling so much. When I AM running on a treadmill, I always try and picture myself sprinting down the field to make a tackle, or recover a loose ball, or make my way into a ruck. Any and every type of motivation I have when working out has rugby behind it. I know I've mentioned that before, but I CONSTANTLY have to keep mental images of rugby in my head to keep me going. When I get tired during a run, I'll think in my head "It seems easy to stop now.....but in the middle of a game? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT." You don't get the luxury of taking a break when you feel "tired" in a rugby game!
It only proves to me even more that working out is SUCH a major mental thing rather than physical. I'm sure that in a practice or game, I am working out way more than I may be when I'm just training at the gym or going for a run...but I don't feel it AT ALL. It's probably because so many other things are on your mind in practices and games that the LAST thing you're thinking about is how tired you may be! This is probably another reason why it is so important to be playing on a regular basis, because you really are working out/training at the same time without even realizing it!
This tournament also only solidified the fact that I need to make a change in my life; these tournaments CANNOT be sporadic trips that come along once in a while. Life after that tournament has been UNBAREABLE because it was so incredibly awesome and now I'm back to a mundane life without rugby.
.....AND IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!!!!!!!
With the incredibly high stress job I have, I really cannot last without a healthy outlet and outside life. This week coming back to work was not only incredibly hard from multiple crises modes we had to go into, but also because it was paired with the realization that I'm going back into this life without rugby in it. again. If this same job was a 9-5 Monday through Friday schedule, then I would be HAPPY AS A CLAM because rugby would always be there for me to utilize after a hard day's work. But it's once again GONE until who knows when. Hopefully I can venture with the Sinners again to DC in April, but that's STILL a long ways away even if it does happen.
One way or another, I need to make rugby a full time thing for ME. I cannot put my whole life into my job (no matter how much I love it) and leave absolutely nothing for myself afterwards. Everyone has tried telling me to look for another outlet but NOPE. There is absolutely NOTHING that can replace rugby. NOT EVEN CLOSE. Not only is the sport itself such a release, but rugby teammates are one of the best support systems you can have. The majority of the people I feel closest to are all the ruggers I have played with....and 99% of them don't even live in the same state as me!
One way or another, I'll figure it out. It's becoming more and more clear that this really is something MANDATORY for my own self care and not just an outside hobby that I have limited access to. It'll come....someday....
(....I'VE JUST GOTTA START SAVING MY MONEY BETTER AND STOP SPENDING IT ALL AT DUNKIN' DONUTS!)
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